These are the bullies and cads who use aggression and coercion to get their own way, or do it just for ‘fun’.Then there are people who don’t deliberately intimidate you and it’s for whatever reason, that feels intimidated.Do they behave in a way that leaves you puzzled and not knowing what to do next? You probably don’t see them behaving meekly, rather, you see their fight response, shrouded as intimidation or aggression.Is it because you don’t have a strong sense of the value you add to this person?
You may be sensing that this person doesn’t need you as much as you need them, which puts this person in a perceived position of strength. This person could be your boss – someone with genuine positional power over you.Anything you do is scrutinized, challenged or faces disagreement. Jordan Belfort, the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, said in his memoir, "I'm insecure and humble, and I embarrass easily... If I had to choose between embarrassment and death, I'd choose death. I really found this to be true on three particular, separate occasions. The third occasion was when I volunteered my number to a cute stranger at a concert in Sydney in 2007. As a fan, something took over me and I introduced myself to him with little more than a smile, my name and some words of appreciation for his work. Kelsey stood up, asked me about myself, introduced me to his wife and thanked me sincerely from stopping by. She was very warm and chatty and shared her story with me as to how she got started in the culinary business. Most people -- including famous people -- are cool! Sometimes, if you make the first social move and say hello, you might be eradicating two people's nerves. You are giving power to your ego when you worry/overthink. Or as Arianna Huffington calls it, the "obnoxious roommate in your head... You’re quiet and don’t speak up to avoid being attacked. This person might even be a subordinate – somebody who works for you (believe me, this happens more than you might think.) You probably sense a lack of ‘parity’– that you don’t have the right to engage with this person at the same level.